The Origins of Seymour the Stuffed Leopard Head
by Falco aesalon
Summary: How exactly Seymour ended up at Camp Half-Blood.  A rather pointless one-shot, but whatever.  They really need to add Seymour in the character filter...


This is rather pointless but my friend who is actually a bigger fan of PJatO than I am thought I should write something like this. I wasn't sure whether to put it here or in the Percy Jackson category but I thought it fit a little better here so here we are. (personally I think they should just combine the two since HoO is the sequel to PJatO and they are both in the same universe.

Disclaimer: Don't own Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Heroes of Olympus or Snausages. If I did, Movie-Annabeth would have been blonde with gray (not blue-gray) eyes and it would have been way better than it is/was.

...

Phil Moran was not a happy man. His Uncle Sebastian died and left him with a mounted leopard head as well as countless other junk (at least, Phil considered it to be junk). One of his ancestors, who lived before tiger hunting was illegal, had been a big game hunter. So there were also several tiger skins among the "junk" Uncle Sebastian had left Phil.

Phil and his sister agreed to have a garage sale to try and get rid of some of the stuff. They were sitting around, waiting for customers when they two strange men stopped by. One had a brown beard and was in a wheelchair. The other was very odd. He wore a leopard-print shirt, purple jogging shorts and running shoes and had curly black hair.

Of course, the two mortals didn't have any idea who the two men really where. Anyone who has read the books about the life of Percy Jackson will immediately recognize Chiron and Mr. D, who is also known as Dionysus.

As Mr.D looked through the odd junk, he saw something that truly upset him. A stuffed head. To be more specific, a stuffed _leopard_ head. Of course, since the leopard is Mr. D's sacred animal, you can just imagine how it would upset him.

"Chiron! How could someone even think of stuffing such a noble creature?"

"I'm sure the man that stuffed the poor leopard never knew that it would offend anyone."

Mr. D picked up the mounted leopard head and took it to the table where Phil's sister, Millie, were sitting.

"How much for the leopard?" asked Mr. D.

"Uh, tell ya what. It's pretty old and useless so I'll say, uh, five bucks," said Millie. "That's Phil's so I'll put that down right here. There ya are, and thank ya very much."

Phil, who was a bit of a miser when it came to money, was not happy that Millie had sold the leopard head for so little money. Of course, that was only the beginning of his troubles.

...

"The poor thing, it's a disgrace! Nobody would want their head chopped off and mounted on a piece of wood like some trophy after they're dead, would they? No, they wouldn't!"

"You don't suppose that that's a bit harsh, do you Mr. D?"

"Of course not! You know the leopard is my sacred animal. I'll grant Seymour life so he'll be able to do everything he never got to do before he died. Then I'll take that dirty mortal and-"

"Yes, Mr. D, I don't know that I should care to hear the details of your plans for the mortal," said Chiron.

Mr. D snapped his fingers at the leopard head, which was now hanging on the wall. The head literally roared to life and the scent of grapes lingered in the air. The Seymour-the-leopard-head growled.

"Yes? What's that? Yes, of course you're hungry. Here you are," said Mr. D, who tossed a Snausage to the now living leopard head.

Chiron wasn't sure that life as a head was any better than no life at all, but Seymour the Leopard seemed quite content for a leopard that had been shot, decapitated, stuffed and mounted on a piece of wood.

Seymour was certainly leading on odd life. Not everyone who gets shot has the chance to come back to life... even if that life is as a head. Seymour took pleasure in roaring at just about anyone who came near him and was fed Snausages every day. Life was good.

...

Not entirely happy but review if you thought it was good! Even just one word like "good" or "lol" or something like that.


End file.
